Ashley and I grabbed dinner before seeing a play last night. We went to my new favorite place. It is steps from Times Square without feeling like it is steps from Times Square. Also, it has couches. Anyway, I burned (burnt?) my tongue on...whatever the hell I got that was definitely not worth burning my tongue. It still burns. We are going on 24-hours. Concerned?

This is not the point.

The points is, I just googled "burning tongue" and one of the first results was this, from netwellness.org.

"My tongue started burning six years ago..."


Wait. What? WHEN? YOU WAITED HOW LONG?

You, sir, do not deserve a functioning tongue.

Also, I hope IT doesn't monitor our google searches.