Hi guys. I'm wearing men's deodorant.
See, I ran out yesterday and stopped at the Rite Aid to buy some. All they had were fruit and powder scented stuff for ladies. I'm a "shower clean" kind of girl. I'm real, real picky about smells. I hate powder smells. (You hear that babies? You stay away with your powder.) Guys get way better scent options than women do. And, oh man, do I love the way boys smell.
Anyway, I bought the guy stuff. Every once in awhile, I'll stretch or raise my arms or move in such a way that I catch a scent of it and I'll think "ooh, who is that?" and then I'll experience the crippling disappointment of realizing it's me. I am my imaginary office boyfriend.