This is most easily explained through a gchat with Nikki. She's "Nicole." I'm "me."

That's confusing.

This chat is off the record.

Nicole: I'd appreciate it if you didn't laugh after this, what are the chances James Van Der Beck is on the other side of the building?
me: oh MY GOD
...what? wait. hold on - you don't know who just walked in.
Nicole: nope
me: it's the most attractive man in the entire history of ever. Ever.
Nicole: oh. ok.
me: that. is. tick. rait.
Nicole: um... should i know who this is?
me: former head of the IT department
Nicole: OH
me: he was here my first summer
Nicole: he looks a little IT ish
me: and is responsible for my post-Wellesley sexual awakening.
me: the first one
Nicole: i would appreciate it if he would continue speaking cause i enjoy his accent very much
me: I can't remember if I'm still getting all stirred up inside. because I refuse to look at him.
me: He used to wear suit jackets. with JEANS. and boots
Nicole: Full. mouth.

meaning I can't say things like that when she's drinking.

me: and he has glasses. and auburn colored hair.
Nicole: hahaha totally stirred up
me: a compact, but sculpted build
Nicole: [Edited for propriety]
me: no. not yet. I'm still recollecting.
I'll have to edit that part when I repost this conversation. mmmm.

Sent at 1:28 PM on Friday

me: SINGLE. HE JUST SAID HE'S SINGLE. how do you say "follow me to the alcove between the anspacher balcony and the martinson theater" in british?
me: you're working on a spreadsheet
me: and not reading this chat
me: and I feel like you're missing out on so much of the present tense enjoyment
Nicole: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nicole: good god woman, you have become a sexual preditor!

she looked back at me and I just shrugged.

me: [Edited for propriety]
Nicole: ... wow... that is the type of IM i'd need a cig after...
me: [Edited for Propriety]
Nicole: oh yes
would not have thought straight upon first sight
me: yeah. I like the ambiguity.
me: in my mind, I'm formulating an analogy where men are like kindereggs
me: he's talking about a hometown in england on a beach
me: do you think he's flirting with me?
Nicole: ...sure
Nicole: go ahead and ask him out, i'll watch
me: okay. now I'm going to have to stop and think about it.
me: looking
me: over
me: now
me: oh. he has a soul patch.
me: gross
me: and his whole accent and manner of dress suddenly seems so sterile and unsexual

me: well. I guess you can't go home again.

Sent at 1:38 PM on Friday

me: wait.
what about James Van Der Beek?