Dru misunderstood something I said over gchat today and took it as an opportunity to remind me what a disaster he thinks we'd be as a couple. I exhibit masochistic tendencies, so I asked Dru why that was exactly. He provided a pitch perfect analysis of our inevitable breakup, grounded in a complex understanding of our personalities. But mostly it amounted to, Nicole has unrealistic expectations about relationships. Under the circumstances, I took it really rather well. And then this text chain began.

Dru: You hate me so much right now.

Me: Absolutely not even a little not even at all.

Me: But if we're both single at 39 we can cohabitate, right? Different rooms and weekly sleepovers?

Dru: No. By then I'll have taken up my banjo playing and will leave with my three cats named Pain, Suffering and Sir Ben Kingsley.

Me: Dammit.

Me: 38?

Dru: That's when I rescue Sir Ben Kingsley from the shelter.

Me: 37?

Du: I'll he having an affair with the actual Sir Ben Kinglsey. Thus why I name my cat as such.

Me: Then what are you doing Thursday?

Dru: Avoiding you at all possible costs.